Practical Thoughts

2007-11-09T22:17:00.000-06:00

Casual use of the word "Research"

Here I am back with another rant post. This time its about the casual,loose use of the word "Research". I have started noticing people use this word for every trivial thing they search. Like for example, a few days back, one of my distant distant relatives was about to welcome her uncle in the US. She wanted to take him to Niagara falls and treat him to some chinese food. Being a vegetarian she had to "Research" and find out chinese hotels in Niagara. Now come on....Thats not research...It's a simple Google search !!!
I am fed up and going to research about downloading a Mohan Lal movie.

2007-09-11T20:59:00.000-05:00

Creative Commercial from Target

Target is always known for its creative commercials. The latest "Hello Goodbuy" is one such classic ad. They've used the song "Hello Goodbye" (notice the spelling difference) from a Beatles Album.
See the Target Ad below

According to the website SplendAd, the following merchandise is featured in the ad

Soccer balls, a flat panel television, Etch A Sketch, guitars, doggie biscuits, soup, cosmetics, linens coming out of clothes dryers, Coca-Cola, vacuum cleaners, luggage, lamps, lightbulbs, swimsuit bikinis, Clorox Bleach Pen, bandages, garden gnomes, a Timex Retrograde watch, dancing Robosapiens, dancing Energizer 9 volt batteries, baby diapers, Weber grills, tennis racquets and balls, a clothesline full of boxer shorts, and men's swimming trunks.

And here is the Original...

2007-08-27T23:35:00.000-05:00

Why Sikh Turban patdowns won't work

A new policy on airport search procedures has authorised what it calls turban pat downs. The turban will now be under the scanner at airports across America.

But you know why this won't work??
Once a TSA guy goes near those smelly beards and hair they will never repeat the mistake again :-))

OK its just a joke....

2007-07-10T23:27:00.001-05:00

Punishment for corruption - The Manchu Style

Chinese government yesterday executed Zheng Xiaoyu, the former head of Food and Drug Administration in that country. He was convicted of amassing $850,000 and allowing fake drugs to be sold.

The Chinese government says that this will serve as a warning to corrupt officials.

The punishment may sound harsh to us Indians where even murderers and rapists get away easily. But this is precisely the reason that China is going to be a super power. Discipline has to be indoctrinated into people.

What we Indians see in movies like Anniyan, the Chinese government does it !!

2007-07-02T19:15:00.000-05:00

Interview with Sivaji

After Adiseshan's death by rampaging students trying to get 10000 rupees, Sivaji is jobless and is wandering around. Our reporter caught him loafing around at a temple in Chennai.

Interviewer: Mr Sivaji...Thanks for allowing me to interview you. I did not expect to find you in the temple again. Hope you are not looking for a new girl?
Sivaji: Yes. I am. Tamil Chelvi left me.
Interviewer: Oh..thats too bad. You are such a nice person helping people get MBBS & engineering degrees and providing jobs for millions. Why did she leave you?
Sivaji: She could not sleep in the night with me.
Interviewer: Why sir ?
Sivaji: She could not stand the tabla sound I made on my head. I should have learnt it after Durga left me when I made that "Lakalakalaka" sound....

Interviewer: Sir, lets talk about your life a bit. Everybody wants to know how a Software Systems Architect could amass 200 odd crores?
Sivaji: Ohhh...Give me a break. After completing Windows XP systems design, I joined Apple Computers. There I designed the iPod. Before coming to India, I completed the design for a new device called iPhone. For all these small softwares, I got a few millions...

Interviewer: That's Cool Sir...Ok. About your problems with Mr Adiseshan...How come he was able to remove a state government but was afraid of you going into the IT office with some documents and hard disk. Does he not have contacts there who can hand it all back to him?
Sivaji: You think Adiseshan is intelligent? He could not recognize my voice & Tamil accent when I spoke on the phone chewing my collar.

Interviewer: It was amazing the way your former wife Tamil Selvi saved your life by waving her red davani before the electric train. She was courageous..
Sivaji: Shut up you moron... You think the train driver stopped because she waved her Red Sari? He was trying to see something by leaning forward and accidentally stepped on the brakes.

Interviewer: How can somebody be revived by CPR after more than an hour of his death. But how was the doctor able to revive you?
Sivaji: Naan eppa varuven, eppadi varuvennu yarukkum theriyadhu, aana varavendiya neratthil correct-aga varuven.(When I will arrive, or how I will arrive, nobody will know, but I will arrive when I ought to)

Interviewer: Finally, You are Sivaji, The BOSS (Bachelor of Social Service). Tom Cruise has been running around saying that his wife Kate was a MOSS (Master of Social Service). What is your opinion about that?
Sivaji: Kanna, according to Indian culture, after marriage a lady takes on her husband's identity. So now she is Kate Tom Screws.

2007-06-24T17:44:00.001-05:00

Non Veg Desserts

Here is an awesome recipe to make your day !! Another dessert that goes along with this is the Cake with strawberry "Mouse" filling.

2007-06-16T13:40:00.000-05:00

Roots - A heart Wrenching Story

For the last 2 weekends we have been watching the video version of Alex Haley's Pulitzer winning novel Roots. The story is about an African boy Kunta Kinte who is kidnapped and brought to America by Slavers in 1750. The story then shows how this boy struggles and how he and his offspring suffer as slaves under their "Massas" (Masters). After seeing the mini-series, I really understood what kind of lives the slaves were forced to live by their white owners. The slave owners considered the blacks as some kind of animals without any kind of emotion. The most heart wrenching scene was when the Massa sells off Kunta Kinte's 15 year daughter to another slave owner when she commits a mistake.

Seeing this movie, I feel, what kind of emotionless people were those slave owners. Its a must watch for all people who are interested in knowing how Slave trade worked and what's the background of the present day African Americans.

This video appeared as a mini series in TV in the late 70's and now its out in DVD.

2007-06-12T20:11:00.000-05:00

Sivaji, The Boss - Rich are getting richer because fools pay $16

Rajini laughing mockingly at the foolish desis - Idhu Eppadi irruku!

The Rajnikanth blockbuster Sivaji is being screened in the USA across 80 theatres. In most cities the price of a ticket is $16 bucks. I am a big supporter of capitalistic policies which encourage the larger mass to have opportunities to make money with minimal government interference. But I am a staunch opposer of the trend especially in India where conniving businessmen plan to make humongous profits by creating unnecessary hype. Sivaji tickets being sold for $16 bucks is one such example. I personally feel that the people involved in bringing the movie into US just want to capitalize on the Sivaji mania and make a quick profit out of it.
Usually Desi movies are priced around $10 and I believe that's fair given the fact the number of people making it to these movies. But $16 is REALLY UNFAIR.

I really wanted to watch the movie but I have decided to boycott it. I hope many more desis do the same and teach the organizers a lesson.
As Sivaji himself says in the movie, the rich are getting richer and poor are getting poorer and I wonder why ?

2007-06-04T22:31:00.000-05:00

Attempt at Macros

This one was taken in Oregon near Cape Lookout State Park. The dunes in Oregon are near the coast and its a wonder.

2007-05-31T23:15:00.000-05:00

Oregon Coast
After our trip to the Olympic National Park, we headed south to one of the most scenic byways in US - the pacific highway 101. We were praying for sun and we got lots of it.

4 mile long Megler Bridge Connecting WA and OR

Scenic Viewpoint from 101

Sand Dunes Near Cape Lookout Statepark

View from Cape Foulweather

View of 101 from Cape Perpetua

Oregon Dunes
Desert like areas can be found along the Oregon coast amidst thick evergreen vegetation. Its like the reverse of an Oasis. These are formed by the action of wind currents which lift the ocean sands and deposit them in the middle of the forest thereby creating dunes which resemble those in a desert

2007-05-31T22:37:00.000-05:00

Olympic National Forest - A 3 in 1 wonder
We were at the Olympic national park in Washington state for the long weekend and it was one of my best trips so far in the US. This national park has 3 types of ecosystems within a small radius.
1) Mountains
2) Rain Forests
3) Beaches

Hurricane Ridge

Elwha River Valley

Ruby Beach

Quinalt Rain Forest

Ferns

Cascade Waterfalls - Quinalt

2007-05-15T19:15:00.000-05:00

Interesting Dance and Music Style - Caporal

We were at the Festival of Nations last week in St.Paul. There were performers from various nations (or ones settled here in US). One dance that caught our attention was the Caporal dance from Bolivia. The first thing that caught my attention was the pleasant music of course until when my wife pointed me to a few other noticeable things.

The great thing about this dance form is that they have a common beat across all songs. The guys are dressed in traditional Spanish military attire and the ladies are in short skirts. Very nice !!!( Borat Style)
Another very distinctive piece of the music was the Bolivian Pan Flute used in the Caporal songs. It has a very different sort of tone, which is very different from other flutes.

I tracked down the original song and here's the link to the amazing music and dance from Bolivia. This is a song "Soy Caporal" by Tupay which was performed at the festival.

2007-05-11T22:23:00.000-05:00

It Happens Only in India !!

2007-04-29T09:33:00.000-05:00

New Strategy for IT companies to fight the Stronger Rupee.

The strengthening rupee is a cause for concern for all of us in the Indian IT industry. I am no economist or an MBA to comment about this but I feel the companies might resort to paying employees in US Dollars soon to offset the loss.
I see some options here for the companies that might benefit them

1) Bring in a US Dollar component into the employee's salary. It would be paid out in Rupees but against the prevailing dollar rates. This would hedge the risk of a strong rupee and minimize the amount of Rupees being paid out as salary

2) In line with government regulations, the IT companies could buy dollars from the markets and pay the employees in rupees. They would use their internal resources to convert these dollars to Rupees. The perceived benefits would be
a) The benefit as stated in Point # 1
b) With IT companies buying in the dollars, the demand for it would go up and thereby it would be costlier which indirectly benefits the IT companies.
c) The cheaper dollars would be useful in funding the million dollar acquisitions that these companies are anyway planning.

Whatever be the case, the strong Rupee is a cause for concern for IT companies who are now paying humongous salaries to their employees based on their Dollar revenues. Now they will have to shell out more dollars to pay these salaries.

2007-04-12T21:36:00.000-05:00

Interview or GD
I was trying to file my tax returns for last year and contacted a desi company whose expertise was in helping H1/L1 guys in filing returns.
They have this process whereby they interview you. So I had to schedule this interview with them. I chose a time of my liking and I got a message from their site

Thanks for choosing our services.
Bonda Naga Venkata Sunita Kumari will be calling you...

My cube mate looks over my shoulder and says "You will be interviewed by 1 person or 5 people?"
I said I doubt if this is an interview or a Group Discussion !!!

2007-04-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

If Eklavya existed in 21st century

We all know the story of Eklavya from Mahabharath. I was wondering if Guru Drona and Eklavya existed today and Drona asked for Eklavya's finger, this is what he would get..

2007-04-01T20:23:00.000-05:00

One Yakka and another Yucka !!
Take a look at these pictures...they could be long lost brothers.
One torments the best batsmen in the world and the other an entire nation.

Lasith Malinga

Sanjaya Malakar

PS: Just Added

Some basketball player called Joakim Noah in US also looks like Sanjaya Malakar.

2007-03-22T20:50:00.000-05:00

Idea for a Talented & Brand New Indian Team

Why don't we invite all players of Indian Origin from other teams to emigrate to India and play for India? This way we would have the best team of international class professional players with Indian sounding names representing India and also beating the crap out of Bangladesh, Burma, Ethiopia etc...

I feel, the ideal Indian team would be

Shivnarine Chanderpaul (C)
Ramnaresh Sarwan
Monty Panesar
Ravi Bopara
Jeetan Patel
Danish Kaneria
Denesh Ramdhin
S Dhaniram
U Bhatti
NS Poonia
Ravindu Shah
T Mishra

Why they would come to India?
1) Huge Money Ofcourse
2) Celebrity like status
3) Additional income in terms of Ad contracts and other endorsement contracts
4) Better than doing their jobs in their respective countries and playing part time cricket

2007-03-17T18:53:00.000-05:00

Where is Sehwag ki Maa..when you need her the most?

India lost to Bangladesh today and faces the prospect of early elimination from the world cup. It wouldn't have happened if somebody showed up on a cell phone...

In 2003 we reached the finals because of her...
See this great clip from 2003 and relive those great days when we used to win matches against England, Namibia, Bhutan, Burma etc

2007-03-07T22:29:00.000-06:00

List of things I never did inspite of staying in US for nearly 3 years

10) Never did Ice Skating
9) Never did Skiing inspite of being in 3 cold states
8) Did not try Pork & beef
7) Did not try to understand Baseball and American Football (Soccer is still Football as far as I am concerned)
6) Did not buy things from a Garage sale
5) Did not take Costco or Sams Club memberships
4) Did not rent Indian movies from Indian Store
3) Did not quit jobs inspite of being on a H1
2) Did not visit NewYork and Niagra Falls and take the customary photo

and the winner .....

...
...
...
...
...

1) Did not learn to speak 1 sentence in Telugu inspite of being here for 3 years

2007-03-05T21:53:00.000-06:00

Midomi.com - Voice based music search

I came across this website www.midomi.com which allows you to search for a song by using your voice. You dont need to know the lyrics. Just the tune.
Sing with made up words or just hum and Midomi search engine matches your recording and comes up remarkably accurate results. One does not have to be a great singer also to get a successful match.
Once you find a match you can hear how Midomi matched your voice by checking matched entries. You can purchase the track right there.
Pretty cool idea. I guess this would be a candidate for Google or Apple to buy out if it becomes successful.

2007-03-04T14:35:00.000-06:00

Why I hate HOLI!!!

I am a South Indian and I HATE Holi !!!
1) People come barging into your house without notice and destroy your carpet & floor
2) It screws up your clothes
3) Causes irritation to your eyes
4) The color does not go away for days and your ears and face are red. And you instantly become a Red Indian.
5) And all this on a Sunday..I am happy with my HOLIday already and I don't need another reason for celebrating this day !!!!!

2007-02-17T11:47:00.000-06:00

CNBC Style of Stock Market news

CNBC and TV 18 have a unique and funny way to report Ups and downs in stock markets. Some of the gems from their arsenal.

Sweet time for Sugar stocks
Cement companies on a Concrete foundation
Telecom stocks ringing in gains
Metal stocks shine on a dull day
Electrifying performance by Power stocks
Oil Stocks on Fire
Textile sector weaving gains
McDowell in high spirits
Airlines stocks takes off
Titan Industries Clocks gains
Banking stocks minting money
Auto stocks in Fifth Gear

2007-02-16T18:44:00.000-06:00

When IQ increases you let the communists rule your state

Now I know the reason why Bengalis and Mallus vote for the stupid communists who promise utopian rule.

A study by a British-American team has found that "Children born to mothers who ate at least three servings of fish a week during pregnancy had significantly higher scores in tests of mental function in their early years"

Its the goddamn fish that pregnant women eat that makes the kid's IQ very high. When your IQ increases you lose the ability to think normally and function like a normal human being. All this while I was thinking that the mallus and Bongs were crazy.

2007-01-20T14:31:00.000-06:00

Pakistan's Missile Shopping List

India should be Shit Scared....They can carpet missile every city and town in India if they want to. Thanks to Rediff for letting us know

2007-01-13T10:56:00.000-06:00

NAMEsis !!!
One of the funniest things I've noticed is when parents lovingly name their child but it turns out to be a funny name because of the pronunciation or spelling.

Here are a few funny ones I've heard
The first set belongs to a category that are beautiful Indian names but when spelt in English and read by an American can spawn a few laughter tornadoes.

1) Shitij - SHIT - IJ
2) Analjit - ANAL -Jit
3) Anusha - ANUS -Ha
4) Dikshit - DIK - SHIT ?????

Mallus and their naming conventions
Mallus must be the most notorious when it comes to naming their kids. There is a classic post by Sidin explaining this. Mallu Christians lead the pack with ridiculous names which are formed by a simple formula.
1 Syllable - 1 Vowel - 1 Syllable - 1 Vowel
For eg, Jijo, Sini, Lijo, Joji, Suni etc..

But some mallus break the above rule and name their kids fashionably..Like

1) Titty
2) Tiny
3) Boobly

These are a few funny ones I've heard from friends who have relatives by these names. I feel bad for those kids when they grow up and have to face jokes !!

Imagine if a boy is named Tiny.... What are his chances of getting a date or marriage proposal?
Tiny meets a girl and the conversation goes
Tiny : Hi..I am Tiny
Girl: Why are you telling me ? Why don't you visit a doctor !!!

And the girl Boobly !!! Oh my god. Don't have to write..

Lastly even my name was murdered by an insurance agent once.He asked me how to pronounce my name and I said "Sandesh Aravind" and he said
As in SAND - ASH - AIR - WIND !!!

2007-01-02T22:18:00.000-06:00

MIAMI BEACH
Mallus would know the famous question asked by Srinivasan to check if Mohan Lal ever visited America --- "How many Kilometers from Washington D.C to Miami Beach?"

I don't think now thats a question anyone should ask a person to check if he has been to the US. Anyway, I guess Srinivasan was correct in asking that question since Mohan Lal claimed to live in a city called "American Junction"...

I have been staying here for 2.5 years now and I don't know how many kilometers from Washington D.C to Miami Beach....
But what I know is, there are 236 miles from Orlando to Miami Beach and its a glorious drive..

One of the most beautiful places in the US --- a totally different world from the rest of the US. The south beach in Miami is a mix of Art Deco architecture style buildings and hispanic/spanish cultures. The beach itself is beautiful on a sunny day with the Atlantic appearing green.

Some pics from our trip last week...

2006-12-11T22:32:00.000-06:00

Airtel Call Home - India Calling Service - A case of No Action Talk Only

Bharti Airtel launched their India calling service for US based NRIs called www.airtelcallhome.com last week. It was launched with such a big bang that most desis were talking about it at work. The catchpoint was 7.9 cents per minute and the best part was the signup bonus of free minutes. Add all this to the brandname and brand ambassadors behind Bharti - Everyone was gaga about this.

I too like most desis use Reliance India Call to call home. It costs 12.9 cents per minute and is very reliable. I immediately thought that Reliance will have to cut their rates to compete. Next day I tried registering at their site. The ordeal that followed was nighmarish

1) To start with, the site was extremely slow
2) During sign up, the website captured all details except my phone numbers. No matter how many times I try updating that field, it comes with with the message "There was some error in updating your registered number".
3) After the registration, they assigned a login id which was a random number. How the hell am I supposed to remember a random number to login in everytime? Usability went for a walk !!!
4) I thought to myself, I have seen this.Its just teething issues. They just went live couple of days back and maybe they are working on it. Let me try calling home. But what followed even more terrible. The calls got cut every 3 minutes and it was extremely frustrating. The saving grace was the sound quality during the time the call was on.
5) I tried contacting their support thru their "Contact Us" link. In the comments field (textarea) no matter how much text I fill, it says I have left it empty. Some amazing Javascript work there...

Overall I was very happy to see my favorite Indian company launching such a service for people like me but the happiness has turned into frustration in no time.

This kind of makes me think what kind of testing would they have conducted before launching the service? I am sure they never did any kind of load testing or performance or stress testing. The management was just eager to upset Reliance and in the process has compromised quality. All my friends who used the service last week were disappointed just like me.

2 things Bharti could have done
1) Gone the old fashioned way and do some thorough testing of their systems and account for some load given the attractive price point at which the service was launched
2) Gone the GMAIL way where they should given out membership by invitation only. They could have tested the load incrementally and signing up for this service would have become something like a "Must Have" thing very quickly by word of mouth.

Anyway, they went with all guns blazing when all they had was only water pistols.

2006-12-08T18:44:00.000-06:00

Annoying Habits

I share my cubicle with my friend...lets call him Sanjeev. Sanjeev like every other human being takes breaks and sometimes gets out of his cubicle. He does not have to tell me where he goes and neither am I interested. But whats annoys me is when people come looking for him when he is not there.

The first question they ask me is "Hey Sandesh, Sanjeev is not there ?" I get pissed and I answer "Yeah..He is not there". Why can't they use a little bit of common sense to look for clues if a person has come in or not. Like for example, look for bags, coats, lunch boxes on his table, switched on computers etc.

I was thinking what could be a equally pissing off reply...Next time one of these morons come along I am gonna say this...

1) Hey Sanjeev, Apna Mr India wala watch uthar ke saamne aa..
2) Hey Sanjeev, Remove that Harry Potter cloak you borrowed yesterday
3) Start searching for Sanjeev under the table and in the drawers
4) Simply mislead people that he did not come to office

A Rant post after a long time !!!

2006-12-07T22:15:00.000-06:00

PwC tries to get the Indian Retail IT pie

There was this piece of news in Rediff.com today about PwC being in talks with Reliance and Bharti-Walmart to manage their IT systems. This is just great news !!!

This is also a wake up call for Indian IT majors like Wipro, Infosys & TCS to look homewards for huge IT deals. Remember the multi million dollar deal that IBM won from Bharti some time back !!!

Setting up an IT infrastructure for these companies would be a huge task. Managing that would be bigger. The IT opportunities in this sector are unlimited. Starting from the POS systems to the entire supply chain to HR systems, it would be one huge opportunity.

I would like to believe that these companies would go for a 3 tiered approach
1) In house Core Team - Their own employees for all decision making & providing direction
2) A world class Consultatnt - A PWC or Accenture type company helping them with the process and guidance. This group would help the retailer to buy initial software across their divisions
3) An IT services company to manage this whole deal

Surely this space looks interesting...

2006-11-27T21:14:00.000-06:00

Bharti Walmart Tie-up - Great Day for Indian Retail Industry

Bharti and Walmart announced a joint venture in Retail today. This is just amazing news for a retail enthusiast like me.
Walmart would manage the Supply chain while Bharti would manage the front end of the new stores. The stores would be in the Walmart format. Bharti has expertise in executing huge and large scale operations and it would be a good partner for Walmart.

What does this really mean for India and Indians?

World class stores with good customer service
Everyday Low Prices (hopefully)
Quality assortment of merchandise ( Not that Walmart has the best quality in US but they must be good for current Indian retail standards)
More jobs
More related jobs across the supply chain --- Really an understatement. Imagine all the producers and their suppliers and so on.

Having worked on the IT systems of major US retailers for over 7 years I fancy working in one of these companies and imagine the countless possibilities & challenges one might encounter when working in such a 'start up'.

2006-11-26T11:03:00.000-06:00

Riding in on 2 booms

Sobha Developers IPO opened last week and got the expected response from investors. The price was between 560 and 640. At the higher end of the band, the stock would trade at 40x its earnings. I feel this is expensive but given the way markets are nobody bothers to question..

Looking at Sobha promoters themselves, they have really cashed in on 2 booms.
1) They rode on the real estate boom and have cashed in on that and made tonnes of money. They priced their properties at exorbitant rates and made the most of it. They knew that the IT guys would pay anything for flat in Bangalore.

2) Now they are all set to cash in on the stock market boom with their overpriced IPO. They know that investors (still hysterical about the Indian economy) would oversubscribe to the issue and make it a big hit.

Ohhh..Did I sound like a dirty socialist for a second?

2006-11-15T20:43:00.000-06:00

A case of mistaken identity

I was in production support some time back and we were supporting Payroll in a large retail company.
I get this email one morning
Email from Archibald: I found a serious issue in a payroll function that I need to talk with you. Can we please talk about it tomorrow ?
Reply from Me: Sure Archibald. What is your number?
Next email from Archibald: 23437716
Reply from Me: Is that 208 (Boise) or 602 (Phoenix) or 801 (Salt Lake City)?
Archibald: Thats 080 - Bangalore
Me (Thinking...): Ahhhh...offshore....shucks. Name sounded like a client fellow
Reply from Me: Archibald, can we talk about it next week? Guess it can wait.

2006-11-15T20:25:00.000-06:00

What is neutral accent?

We have all heard people in our ITES and BPO industry talk about having a neutral English accent. I always thought the way NDTV anchors speak is what all of us call this "neutral" accent.

But recently a thought has been running in my mind. Neutral accent, according to me is really farcical. English is supposed to be spoken the way British folks speak. American accent, Australian accent, Scottish accent are all accepted but Britain is really where modern English was really born.
When it comes to India, the way Mallus speak English is totally different from the way Bengalis speak. North Indian accent is different from any other regional accent.
So what is neutral accent really? Its also an Indian accent, without accent modifiers coming in from the above regional accents.

But in my opinion, if someone wants to speak English with a neutral accent, he should be speaking the way Hugh Grant or Tony Blair speak and not like Pranoy Roy or Vikram Chandra.

2006-11-13T21:32:00.000-06:00

Married and now its 2 1/2 months..

I am back from blogging hibernation. Obviously evident from my previous post, my Marriage was the reason for me neglecting this space.

Now I am back and hope to blog regularly from now on.

2006-08-22T18:45:00.000-05:00

Last Few Days of Freedom :-)

The day is 31 Ausgust 2006 after which I would have to relinquish a lot of liberty and freedom. Top 10 things I cannot do

10)Keep the cauliflower in the fridge for 4 months and then throw away
9) Throw letters and mails unopened on the floor and not read them for months
8) Leave the jeans in the sofa
7) Leave the shirts in the bed unwashed for months
6) Leave vessels unwashed for days
5) Not Vaccum the carpet ever
4) Not take out the garbage for days till the house kind of smells
3) Not take bath on weekends unless absolutely necessary
2) Sleep at 3 AM on a weekend night and then get up at 12 next day.

Biggest Fear !!!
1) Can I hangout with the single guys whenever I want

Shaadi ka laddoo...khao to pachtao , na khao toh bhi pachtao...

2006-08-14T19:40:00.000-05:00

Happy Independence Day - 59 Years of Freedom

I never get sentimental about such ocassions usually. But this time its different. I somehow feel bullish about India's prospects. We have a long way to go. Population, poverty, terrorism and so many issues still continue to hamper our growth. But if we look at what we have achieved as a country I feel very proud. In 1947 when British left, we were totally left to survive on our own. With the partition leaving an indelible blot in our history, and having to integrate a huge country, we started on a shaky ground. 59 years later, slowly, little by little, we have come a long way where we can atleast dream of a great future for our future generations.

I am optimistic about our country's future and this lies on the next generation of leaders.
May be I am feeling this way because I have been out of the country for 2 years now. May be because, for the first time most of us feel that something good is going to happen for many many years.

What the heck !! Felt like writing what I felt.So wrote !!
Happy August 15th to all fellow Indians !!

2006-08-11T20:19:00.000-05:00

Top 21 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".

This is an old classic but still I laugh out loud when I read this. Let me see if I will do any of these when I go to India this month. I did some of these things when I was there early this year.

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health consciousness.

19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible(but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspeciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

Few more important
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one
1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

2006-08-08T21:17:00.000-05:00

Ethics & Integrity of Politicians
This is really funny if you follow Indian politics on a daily basis.

Natwar Singh is found guilty of misusing his power by Justice Pathak. Look what follows

1) Congress party shows him the door.
2) Natwar does a Privillege motion against PM and calls him a dummy effectively saying we've got a PM who never won an election. Remember he was a foreign minister under the same PM a few months ago.
3) BJP and other opposition parties who were calling for Natwar's head when the Volcker report came out now actually come out in support of him. Now he is a victim and not a thug.

Wonder if these guys have any kind of shame !!

This is Indian Politics and their ways !!

2006-08-06T00:09:00.000-05:00

A Oribitz - Travelocity - Expedia type Indian Site

At last we have a Indian travel booking site on the lines of Orbitz, Travelocity and Expedia. Its Yatra.in!
The website is decent and has an interface which is quite familiar for people who have travelled a bit in the US.

I guess with the increasing purchasing power of the Indian Middle class and rise in disposable incomes, Yatra and its likes should be able to make it.

Yatra is funded by Anil Ambani's Reliance group along with CNN-IBN, CNBC and Northwest Venture Partners. And its got alliances with all major airlines in India.
What I like I Yatra is that they are planning to offer Train & bus tickets along with hotels. Also they have an option of car rentals in major cities. I believe the car would come with a driver :)

While this is a good start there is a long way to go. I was trying to book a package from Madras to Goa on a thursday. Sahara was the only flight they offered. I had to fly all the way to Delhi from Madras and then fly back to Goa in a connection. What if I missed my flight, I might be left stranded :)

Nevertheless I am excited by this..

2006-07-28T23:52:00.000-05:00

Why I love Forrest Gump
Forrest Gump is one of the movies you can watch again and again without getting bored. I love the opening and ending scenes where the feather floats in the air and the background music.

I have seen it like 15 times now.Everytime, I watch it I notice something new. The best part about the movie is the way how Forrest Gump is a part of some hitorical event and how he does not know about it or its seriousness. Heres a list of things which are subtle and kind of makes the movie funny.

1) The Accent...The way he says "Life is like a box of chocolates"
2) Forrest was a descendant of Ku Klux Klan founder
3) That Elvis learnt his famous hip shaking move from Forrest Gump
4) Forrest Gump got college admission because he was abe to run in a football match
5) Meet President Kennedy and he says he got to pee. Hilarious
6) The character Bubba who knew everything about Shrimping business
7) Lieutenant Dan - His ancestors died in some american war or the other
8) Forrest shows his buttocks to President when he receives the medal of honor.
9) Its funny the way the mike becomes silent when he is called to speak about the war in Vietnam.What did he say about the war in Vietnam?
10) Being in the same Interview program with John Lennon
11) President Nixon and how he might be responsible for finding the watergate scandal
12) Lt. Dan taking care of Forrest's money by investing in a "fruit" company - Apple
13) Running across the country for no apparent reason
14) T-Shirt business from his face -Jesus style
15) Jenny his girlfriend gets a mysterious virus - AIDS??

The best emotion in the whole movie is the undying love that Forrest has for Jenny.

The way that feather floats at the start and how it flies off in the end...
Great Movie!!

2006-07-27T22:52:00.000-05:00

It happens only in TCS
Annual Revenue: $2 Billion
Number of employees: 50 Thousand
A Matrimonial Site: Priceless

2006-07-21T21:12:00.000-05:00

Your Opinion Needed
I am travelling to India next month. I was planning to take a Lufthansa flight from Chicago to Chennai via Frankfurt. Got varied opinions on it. I created an online poll at Tezaa. You can see it in the sidebar on this page.

2006-07-19T20:09:00.000-05:00

Whats the Point? How do you know who is who

2006-07-16T10:44:00.000-05:00

Weirdest spelling for Sambar

Last week I went to an Indian restaurant in Minneapolis with my long time friend. As we were a bit late, we were asked to take all we can in the next 15 minutes as they going to take away the food. I saw masala dosa and it being my favorite, took 2 pieces of "sliced" masala dosa. Next to it was a dark and watery concoction labelled "Somber".

I was taken aback a bit by the spelling for the most famous South Indian delicacy - Sambar..a.k.a Sambhar. But "Somber" was just too much. I din't pay much attention to it till yesterday as I had nothing else to do..

Why would they have named it Somber? Some of the possible reasons..

1) It was dull in color and had a sad look to it..Hence Somber
2) That's the way Americans pronounce Sambar.. Hence Somber
3) May be the owner who seemed to be a confused Desi with a phony American accent thought that was the spelling...Hence Somber

If they named it so because, Americans call it that way, then we should have Pitsa Hut, US Pijja and Pisa Corner all over India...Right?

2006-07-13T23:33:00.000-05:00

I filled my gas tank today at $2.999

With the middle east crisis looming large, I expect oil prices to hit $80 or $85 a gallon soon. That would translate to $3.50 to $3.60 per gallon.

2006-07-12T18:34:00.000-05:00

Enemy Inside the House.

Its 36 hours since the Bombay blasts. We have seen many platitudes coming from our leaders. And I am sure thats all we will get.
I've been following quite a few blogs about the bombay blasts and a lot of so called "Matured" commentators have advocated the government's line of "No Action" against Pakistan based terror units. They have said things like Pakistan is not Palestine. It would escalate into war. Blah Blah...

Yeah right...Haven't we been doing what these guys say? Haven't we excercised restraint all along? What have we got? Blasts in Varnasi, Delhi, Bombay, Srinagar, Bangalore...Our restraint has been misused by Islamic terrorits all the time. Because, we never back our words with action.
If Kasuri of Pakistan can say "Such actions would continue until India resolves the Kashmir issue", we know where the masterminds of the terror acts reside. We all know where Dawood Ibrahim, Masood Azhar and LeT chief are.

What are we doing? Look at what the PM had to say

PM: "Your resilience and resolve will triumph over the evil designs of the merchants of death and destruction. Let me say again, no one can make India kneel"

Mr Prime Minister, We don't need statements praising Mumbai people and saying how tall they stand during the face of crisis. We need solid action against the terror camps deep inside Pak Occupied Kashmir. How long will we take things lying down?

India should look seriously at military options to avenge this latest and all past acts of terrorism. We will need to engage in a limited military action against terror units or safe havens inside POK. Some kind of act to inspire our people and to assure them that the government is not sleeping is what is required now.
When we have the enemy inside and deep inside our house, what we need is actions from India which sends clear and unambiguous message to those. We need actions which catch International headlines. I dream of the day when I would read "Indian Airforce takes out terror targets inside Pakistan". We need something to cheer and lift the spirits of Indians.

Hope we can see some real and assertive action on the ground from the government.

2006-07-11T18:43:00.000-05:00

Time for Affirmative Action

I am not talking about affirmative action which our great Indian Politicians like Arjun Singh talk about. I am talking about taking affirmative and decisive action against the terror camps inside Pakistan. 174 people dead today in Bombay.Whats our great government doing?

Listen to what our Home Minister Mr Shivraj Patil had to say..." The Government had some advance knowledge that such an attack might take place. What we didn't have was the place and the time" ...

WOW Mr Home Minister, Aren't you ashamed to make a generic escapist type statement like this one?

And look what our Prime Minister had to say about who is responsible..

"Terrorists" Mr Prime Minister? May be it could be a group of chemistry students or may be some "People" were behind these blasts...

Look at Israel, what they are doing to rescue 1 soldier..1 soldier named Gilad Shalit. India has a population of 1 billion. Does that mean we can forgo a few hundred lives?

I as an Indian is looking for some kind of revenge to these acts of terrorism. I am sure there are many millions like me. But does this spineless Congress government have the courage to take any kind of action? I dont think so...Till then we are at the mercy of Islamic terrorists.

God save India!

2006-07-06T22:53:00.000-05:00

Indianapolis Formula 1 Race - July 2nd 2006

On 7/2/2006 I realized one of my dreams...to watch a Formula 1 Race live.

A month ago when I decided to go to Indianapolis, I started looking for airline and hotel deals in the expedias and travelocities of the web world. Nothing was available for a reasonable price. Flight tickets to Indianapolis were jacked up by all airlines and that was not an option. Hotel rates were dramatically increased by most hotel in Indianapolis for the July 2nd weekend and called it "F1 Rates".
So I decided to look at other options. Staying in Minneapolis, I had the advantage or the relative advantage of driving down to Indianapolis. Also I had used my best bet in hotels - Best Western !!! I got a room at a place called New Castle 50 miles away from Indianapolis for $66 a night. Pretty affordable when hotels in Indy were quoting at $210.

Anyway on Saturday morning, I started on my 640 mile solo drive from Minnesota in a brand new Hyundai Azera. This car has a cool 6 CD MP3 player. This was enough to last me songs for 1400 miles. It also had heated seats, a feature quite useless in 90 degrees heat. Anyway, I started driving south east at 8:30 AM on my long trip covering 4 states. The best part about this trip was that the US midwest especially Wisconsin is very very green and is pleasing to the eyes. After crossing into Wisconsin from Minnesota it was time to enter Chicagoland. For the first time in my stay in the US, I entered a Tollway. Then I realized the meaning of freeway and how casually the term was being used. Illinois has a lot of tollways which are not great and for all that money you pay, there are no rest areas too.

The weekend traffic to Illinois was heavy and so I decided to take a belt route west of Chicago. That too was crowded. Saw harlem avenue. Kept driving until I reached Indiana. Now Indiana has freeways with 70 miles per hour speed limit.I was so relived to see that. Having stayed for most part of my US life in Idaho and Utah where 75 is norm, 60 and 65 was like slow for me.Anyway after 12 hours of driving and changing a time zone, I was in New Castle, Indiana at 9:30 PM ET. Checked into the hotel and saw the repeat telecast of Brazil getting busted by France. Slept early and planned to leave to Indianapolis by 8:30.

The race was at 1 PM but they had lined up some programs from 11:30. But I decided to leave at 8:30 as the traffic would be horrible and parking would be an issue. Luckily I had bought a parking permit along with the ticket. I reached Indianapolis at 9:30 and there were cops on every intersection leading to the Speedway. The whole area was dotted with 2 colors...Ferrari Red and Renault blue. After Parking in the designated parking area,I started walking and I could get a glimpse of the crowd and the enthusiasm.

There were some pre-race events like some Porshe cup race etc. After that all the 22 drivers were paraded in vintage cars including a Ferrari vintage. At 12:45 the US national anthem was played and suddenly 4 F-16s flew past the speedway in a triangular pattern. What a bonus, I got to see F-16's too at no extra cost.

At 1, the race started like clockwork and Felipe Massa overtook the "God" at the first turn. The sound of the F1 engines was unbelievable and I got goosebumps.I realized why they were people selling ear plugs. There was an Indian guy next to me who was so excited that he called his mom in Chennai and put his phone on speaker and said "Amma, F1 engine sound kellumma..."...

While all this was happening, 7 cars were involved in multiple accidents right in front of us. This brought the safety cars onto the track and began the recovery and salvage operations. See the video on how effective and fast the guys are in salvaging the cars.

After the safety cars were withdrawn, the race restarted in full force with Ferrari 1 and 2 followed by Renaults. The power of the Ferrari in Indy was evident as the gap between Micheal and Fisichella kept increasing every lap. After Massa's pit stop, Micheal took on the top spot and he maintained it throughout the race. He was simply unbeatable on that track. The gap between the two Ferraris increased with every lap. This video gives us an idea how fast these cars can be.

This was the first time, that I was using a handy cam and that shows. But nevertheless I am happy that some of the magic moments were captured for ever by me. The picture quality of the video is not my fault. It was pretty good before I uploaded it to YouTube.

The crowd was excellent and was purely multinational. Lots of europeans...I saw many Indians too. The weather was excellent and it was burning hot. Beers were selling at 6 bucks and water at 3. Business and sport made their perfect unisen on that Sunday afternoon.

For me, it was an experience of a lifetime, when I saw Micheal Schumacher race first to the checkered flag. Till the morning of the 2nd, I had a slight guilt feeling that I spent so much money on this. But when I heard the engines roar and the scarlet red cars win and the crazy and colorful crowd, that feeling just vanished. It was money well spent and such experiences last a lifetime.

2006-06-24T11:31:00.000-05:00

Another Job - Cashier Experience at Target
Last Thursday I got a chance to work as a cashier in a Target store. This was an opportunity for the software folks to use the software they work on. I work on the Point of Sale systems and for the first time I was able to use the software in production.

While it was a great experience to use the software, I came to know how it is doing another job in which you don't have the comforts of a cubicle, chairs and tables. I was standing for 3 hours doing the same thing again and again
1) Welcome the guest with a smile.
2) Say "Hi, How are you? Did you find everything OK today?."
3) Scan merchandise....Keep scanning merchandise....Sometimes heavy merchandise..
4) Bag the stuff..Keep bagging..Remove hangers from clothes..Complicated hangers from ladies undergarments. Its easier to solve a quadratic equation than removing those complicated contraptions.
5) Complete the payment..Give back change if they paid by cash
6) Give the receipt to the guest and smile again..And say "Have a nice day.."
Now put this in a loop that ran for 3 hours...Man it was tiring..

This time I was able to chat up with some other regular and experienced cashiers. They said some customers were not friendly when the software would reject their checks or won't accept their cards. They would start shouting at the cashier. The challenge it seems was to smile and serve the next customer just after going thru such an experience.

I was able to observe how friendly the cashiers at Target were to customers. They would talk to customers making some comments about any stuff they have bought. or how nice the day was.

All customers are not the same. Some have different requirements. An old lady brought 4 items to my lane and while I was about to check out her stuff, she told me she wanted them in 3 transactions. She was to pay the first 2 items by Cash, the third one with a card and the fourth one was for her friend who buying something else in the next lane...
Another customer bought a pair of sunglasses and asked me if I could remove the tag from it so that she could wear it right away.

Some of the stuff in Target is huge and heavy. Customers need assistance to take those things to their cars. In such a situation, cashiers can flip a switch which makes their lane light to blink. This means the cashier or the customer needs assistance and someone comes up within seconds to help.

Some customers forget to take their card back, or the stuff they just bought. Its the cashier's job to keep these things which customers forget. All this while serving the next customer. This was surely a tough job.

The folks at Target sure have some fun at work too. The Guest Services Team Leader had a Bingo game going on and she invited me to join in. She would come to the lanes and read out the Bingo numbers when not many customers were around. A nice way to have some fun at work.

I started work at 8:30 AM and 3 hours went by in no time. Served 60 customers. Got tired. But I had a lot of takeaways..
Learnt what it is like to work another job.
Leant what it is to use a software in production.
Learnt the need for making software that's fast and easy to use.
Learnt what is meant by superior customer service.

Will I do it again? Yes. Surely...May be 4 hours next time. Will I like that as a job? Don't think so!!! :)

I am waiting for big time organized retailing in India to start. Guess I might get to do something more exciting in a few years especially on the store floor and in customer service.

2006-06-20T22:40:00.000-05:00

AAA - Great Idea! Great Service!

This is one more thing I love about life in US. Convenience !!!

Last week I had to go to Indian store to get some rice. I started my car and put it in reverse and pushed the pedal. The car won't move. Gave some more gas..the car won't budge.Got out and was horried to see a perfectly flat front tire!!

I don't have a car jack and other tools to change tires. A relatively simple problem and I had a relatively simple solution. Call AAA for emergency road service.

AAA is a company which provides emergency roadside assistance, insurance, travel planning, discounts to hotels, rental cars and a host of other services. I love their emergency roadside assistance program. They can replace a flat tire, jump start your car, bring you fuel should you run out during travel or worst case they can tow your car to the nearest repair shop.
Amazing idea for service and what convenience. When I have the AAA card with me I have peace of mind while driving.

So I called AAA and they sent me help in 25 minutes. The guy came in and changed tires in 5 minutes flat. Now that's what I call convenience...

Wish we see such a thing in India too...

2006-06-18T11:08:00.000-05:00

Instant Messenger for Indians

Click to enlarge picture.

2006-06-15T22:43:00.000-05:00

Classic from Jay Leno !!

The Iraqi government said that they have recovered valuable information from laptops and hard drives from the safe house of Al Zarqawi. What brand of computers were they using that it survived two 500 pound bombs? I pour a glass of beer accidentally on my computer and I have to speak for one and a half hour to Appu in India to get it fixed.

I was laughing for 5 mins !!!

2006-06-14T21:33:00.000-05:00

Best Chicken Dish Ever

Everyone has their favorite version of a food item and I am no exception. This is the recipe of my favorite chicken dish.

Ingredients
1 lbs Chicken ( I prefer chicken with bones. 20 times tastier than boneless)
1 large Onion ( Preferably Indian or Red onions)
2 Medium Tomatoes
2 tsp Red Chilly powder
2 tsp cumin Powder
Pinch of Turmeric powder
1 tbsp Yogurt
Curry leaves
Some lime juice
Salt to taste

Method
Chop Onions and tomatoes into small pieces. Cut chicken into small pieces. Marinate it with 1 tsp of chilly powder, salt and yogurt. Leave it aside for atleast 30 minutes.
Heat oil in a ordinary pan. I would not prefer non-stick pans for this dish and most Indian dishes (1). Fry the onions till they are "golden" (2) brown. Now add the remaining chilly powder, turmeric powder, cumin powder, curry leaves and salt and saute on low heat for 5 to 7 minutes. The flavor of the spices should come out nicely. Then add the chopped tomatoes and continue frying till they become soft. Add the chicken and stir fry for a minute. Add water to the vessel so that the chicken is just covered. Close it with a lid and let the chicken cook on medium or low heat.
After 15 to 20 minutes, most of the water would have evaporated. Now stir fry the chicken till the whole thing becomes nice and dry. Add a few drops of lime juice and fry. Once the chicken looks like the one in the picture stop cooking and leave the place.

I am writing this down so that I don't forget the recipe after my marriage. My fiancee is a pure vegetarian and chances are that I might stop making chicken soon ;)

(1) I think in Indian cooking things should burn and things should caramelize a bit. It surely adds to the taste
(2) Never understood what is "Golden Brown" when it came to frying onions. Whenever I fried onions they never became golden brown. The color just turned from whitish to not so whitish.

2006-06-13T20:28:00.000-05:00

How Chinese View India

A nice article in Rediff about how Chinese businessman view India makes interesting reading.

Was surprised to see the article but was not surprised by the content.

2006-06-09T18:57:00.000-05:00

A Long Way to Go

I was reading an article in Reuters about how India's youth is now "hanging out" in coffee shops in a predominantly tea drinking country.

Offlate a lot of western media has been painting a picture where India is becoming an economic superpower or something like that. I am in the US since June 2004 and I was kind of getting influenced by this whole propaganda.
In February, I went to India on a 2 week vacation. Well..that changed it all.

Some ground realities..
1) Our infrastructure is the worst. Roads are hopeless or do not exist. If they exist they are so conjusted. This does not help foreign companies to open businesses there. What's being done? No Idea. I guess some "decent" work was done during Vajpayee's rule for the golden quadrilateral. But this does not cover intra city roads and small cities, towns and villages

2) Airports: The state of our international airports are worse than the smallest airport in the US. I was so ashamed to see the Chennai International Airport. I came to India expecting that some miracle had taken place that transformed the country. But I was in for the shock of my life.

Dirty Walls from 1970's

Wiring hanging out

Cobwebs

No waiting area or proper receiving area

1950's style counter for Immigration

Chaos outside the aiport arrival area

It was funny that the government announced modernization of Bombay and Delhi airports around the same time. But the leftists were quick to strike and paralyze airport operations across the nation.

3)Government's hesitation to invest more and proactively in infrastructure is the biggest roadblock that India is facing. This is the reality!!

The truth is that we are miles away from becoming a global power or even an asian powerhouse. There are so many things to set right and this government is interested in giving away reservation for OBC's, Muslims, eunuchs and God know what!!!
I think we have a long way to go!!

2006-01-19T23:31:00.000-06:00

How IT Services Company screw up your Career

Andrew Grove, the former CEO of Intel once said "Your Career Is Your Business". I read his book Only The Paranoid Survive when I was in college. I did not quite understand what he meant. But after 6 years of working in a leading IT services company, I now know what he exactly meant when he said "Your career is your business".

If you are one of those guys who think, that if you work honestly and with utmost commitment for your company, your company would treat you well, then you might be one of the biggest fools

One of my friends did some crappy production support work for years in a onsite assignment. He was analytically good. His communication skills were excellent. He was made for something better. But his company wanted him to do some production support work and he did it dilligently. After 3 years of working in that project and neglecting his career he returned back to India. He now wanted something worthy of his abilities. Since he was onsite, his offshore salary did not increase the way it should have and he did not get any progression too. He thought,that it was time for his company to increase his salary and progress him. He approached his manager....

My Friend: Venkat, I want to discuss with you about my salary and promotion.
Venkat: Sure..Sure..Can you schedule a meeting sometime next week..

My friend schedules a meeting the next week..
My Friend: Venkat, I feel my Salary is bad and also my band is low. I have been onsite for 3 years doing some crappy production support work. I had to reset passwords and things like that...
Venkat: See boss.. As far as the work is concerned, you knew what you would be doing when you went there right?
My Friend: Yah. But I was doing it for the company. The company wanted me to work
Venkat: Come on.. It was for the money right?
My Friend: Yes it was also a part of the deal. But that was not the only thing. I wanted a good role too but I was told my the onsite account manager about how it would be a negative thing on the client if I was replaced.
Venkat: Yah. Thats correct. Also it would be difficult to get a resource to replace you because no body would want to do that kind of low end work.
My Friend: So dont you think, I should now get what I deserve?
Venkat: See boss...you are getting what a person of your skillset would get in the market. To be honest, you dont have any hot skill in the market. Then how can you expect those kind of salaries?
My Friend: But, how was I to learn anything when I was in that crappy project?
Venkat: Thats your problem...

WOW !!! Thats the reality. Nobody cares about you. There is nothing called as a Free Lunch. Its all about saving your ass.

2005-12-11T12:49:00.000-06:00

The greatest DVD ever
Contain your excitement; you’ve waited long enough. Now you can own it to watch over and over forever. The greatest movie ever !!!
War of the worlds

"From the moment the invaders arrived, breathed our air, ate, and drank, they were doomed. They were undone, destroyed, after all of man's weapons and devices had failed, by the tiniest creatures that God in his wisdom put upon this earth. By the toll of a billion deaths, man had earned his immunity, his right to survive among this planet's infinite organisms. And that right is ours against all challenges. For neither do men live nor die in vain."

And booom... all the Alien tripod killing machines go down... Worst possible ending!!!

2005-12-04T22:26:00.000-06:00

Windows + R --> calc --> Enter --- The desi mind

When a person comes to US, his mind is always running a calculator. This calc has just 1 function. Multiply by 45.

My first lunch in the US was in a small restaurant called the Hogi Yogi. It cost me $6.36. I thought, 300 bucks for a sandwich. I could have eaten 6 good meals in Bangalore.

This feeling quietly subsides as you start buying things and start seeing a good deposit in your savings account.

But some people never change...

During these times, a lot of us had come to US for the first time. There were 2 guys were sharing an apartment in the same place I stayed. Their antics were quite funny.

They would go to Winco ( an Idaho/Oregon based food retailer) and buy groceries. One fellow did not like tomatoes. So when the other guy took some tomatoes, he told his roommate
"I dont eat tomatoes you see. I will not pay for this. This should not be a part of common expenses, you know"

Hmm...Roma tomatoes those days were just 80 cents per pound.

Then another day, he bought some apples from Albertsons and put them in a corner in the fridge and warned his roommate.
"Those are my apples"

Luckily I had a roommate who was totally cool about spending and was a true gentleman. We never kept cent level accounts and never argued about buying groceries.

Well. Its been almost 18 months in the US and now this calculator has stopped working. Infact, a kind of casual dividing calculator has started running in my mind which is not good. I nowadays divide by 45. When my mom says that flight tickets are expensive and its not a good idea to spend 1500 to travel to Bangalore (from chennai), I think, thats just 30 bucks that she is not willing to spend that!!!!

I think, I gotta kill this calc...
Or may be, it will die its own death when I start seeing my India Pay stub..

2005-11-28T20:12:00.000-06:00

The Manju Episode - Is there hope for our country?

Manju was killed for doing his job. So was Satyendra Dubey.
An IIM grad decided to work for an Indian Public Sector company and paid the price.

These are the times when I feel
1) Will India ever have a bright future?
2) Has Democracy worked for us?
3) Should we have army rule or Singapore's Lee style rule?
4) Why is North India (UP/Bihar/MP)the way it is?
5) When will people stop being corrupt
6) We had an Indian or an Anniyan who could set things right by force.

Well these are the questions that come out when you think with frustration and anger in mind.

I feel most of the ills in our country are a result of the British Rule and the stupid Congress-Socialistic rule during the past 58 years.
The British not only enslaved us but also created a generation of people who only learnt to obey their masters. This generation did not know how to create businesses and create wealth. They believed that working for the government was the the greatest thing one could do. After independence, our policies were not to encourage private businesses. This created huge organizations without competetion which ran rather inefficiently. This also created a generation of people who held power and could sell/use that to make money for themselves. The license, quota permit raj of the Congress government created this.... License for petrol pumps, gas agencies etc etc.
This created way for powerful people to form nexus with politicians. These guys funded election campaings in return for favors. Would this have been possible if HPCL or BPCL was a private enterprise?
How do you get the licenses for petrol pumps? Ofcourse Bribe your way and use your connections.
Who is there to question? Who questions about quality of service you provide?
No one.
Manju was killed because, he did his job. He wanted to shut down a Petrol Pump which was indulging in adulteration.

Coming back to the basic question,Is there hope for our country? I would say "Yes" but with caution. The only way to reduce corruption is to avoid giving avenues for people to make money.Privatise and make corporations accountable.
Well. I know this wont happen as long as those sick communists are alive but we have hope.
Our hope is our generation which grew up witnessing these acts of corruption.
Hope Manju's and Dubey's sacrifices won't be futile.

As I type this, I think, when I come back to India, would I bribe the customs guys at the airport?
I hope I have the courage to pay what's due and walk without greasing the palms of a corrupt customs man.

2005-11-12T01:23:00.000-06:00

Dilbert - Funny strip on Outsourcing "Benefits"

2005-11-10T20:38:00.000-06:00

Outsourcing is here to stay

Copyrights - Morpara.

2005-11-06T01:09:00.000-06:00

Are Indians Courteous?
Surely we are not.

One of the qualities of Americans I really love is their courteousness. This is something which Indians must surely learn.I believe this is all a part of becoming a powerful economy and increased education. Also its a case of cultural difference I guess. Or is it proportional to your growth and development?

Right of Way
Pedestrians always have the right of way in the United States. I believe that this is a part of courtesy which has been enforced by law. The government has taken upon itself to bring in discipline and manners.

Holding the door for a person behind you..
This is an amazing habit which I see in people out here. If someone is just behind you and you are about to open and enter a room, you hold the door so that the person also comes in. What if you leave the door? Nothing much, he might just have a broken nose :-)

Thanking
People here always Thank others. Its a cultural thing I guess. We never say Thanks to others who help us, who do small things for us. We think its our prerogative that others should do things for us. Or may be we are just indifferent. Yes..That's the thing. Its indifference towards other's sensitivities that makes us the way we are.
A small thanks and an acknowledgement appreciating a person's gesture goes a long way.

Patience
They have a lot of patience when it comes to dealing with people. Our guys get pissed off when it comes to explaining some thing over and over. We just want to get over and get done with it. We don't do proper and deep research and try to help people out. But this is something the Americans do.

Snide Remarks
I happened to meet a person who had just landed from India. I hardly knew him for 10 minutes and he passes a rather insinuating remark. What did he think? I would appreciate his rude comment?
I do not have too many American friends but have some. They are generally so courteous and never hit at your personally. Again I think its a cultural thing. We are indifferent to other's sensitivities.

I guess a lot of these above points are to do with our economic background and a lot due to the cultural difference and there is a lot of scope for correction to happen.
As usual your comments are welcome!!

2005-10-29T23:25:00.000-05:00

The Open Cracks

I have always appreciated the efficiency of the systems in US, the roads, the courtesy of the people etc etc...
But there are some things which I found annoying and their restrooms make it to the top of the list.

What the hell do they think when they build their toilets?

They seem to have implemented the concept of modular toilets. This means that there are no hard walls between seats. The walls extend from roughly your head (of an average Indian) to your calf muscles. This also means you can see the feet of your neighbour. You can watch all his movements and know exactly the staus of his progress. Hmmm..

There is a small gap between door and the part where the latch locks. This ensures you can see everyone moving around the toilet area. Sometimes you would see people peeking thru that gap to check if someone is seated.
You can never relax and relieve yourself because you are always conscious of your surroundings. Is someone looking ? What will they think ? Shit..You cannot concentrate..;-)

Now the worst part. Sometimes you are subject to dolby sound effects from your neighbouring area. Mind you these Americans are so huge and eat like hell. So they can give out quite a thunder. Now that can be quite disturbing :-)

I know America is the land of freedom of expression and speech and with porous borders. But should they implement that in their toilets?? Nahhhh !!!!

Mera Bharat Mahan !!!

2005-10-25T21:17:00.000-05:00

Bombay Girls for sale on EBay !!!
I was reading an article on Times of India about the plight of the Mumbai Bar Girls who are out of jobs.
Below the article was the Google Ad which caught my eye.
See for yourself the ad for deals on Bombay girls on eBay, thanks to google.

2005-10-21T21:15:00.000-05:00

QuAcks

I have often wondered why we never have quality in real terms in the IT service industry. In other industries, you have theories on Quality management and we see those theories being put to use.
We have theories IT Service industry too but it never seems to work!!!
I decided to look at QA teams that I work or worked with and analyze why they never worked!! I realized that we don’t really care for the profile of the people working as Quality management personnel.

Story 1

A mid level HR person was bored with her role as a HR. She decided it’s the time to go to Amreekka. After all all the people that she has recruited go to US. She tells her boss (Head of HR) of her concern.
Boss: Hmm...In what capacity will we send you to US? You are not technical and neither were in Project Management before......Hmmm..Lemme think....Yes !!! You can go as a QA. Since you are a HR you can be a QA for Peoplesoft projects. Wait, let me call Prakash....the head of Peoplesoft group

Boss dials Prakash's cell phone....

Vijay: Prakash, this is Vijay Sinha
Prakash: Hello sir...What’s happening?
Boss: I need a help sir..
Prakash: Whats it sir?
Boss: Do you have a requirement for a HR functional person for an onsite position?
Prakash:Hmm...Not really. Anyways who is the person Vijay?
Boss: You know Meghna Rawat don't you?
Prakash: Oh yah yah...but she is a HR rite?
Vijay: Yes. Exactly..She has domain knowledge in this area. She needs onsite exposure.
Prakash:Hmm..Actually we want someone with some Techno-functional background you know...(Thinks for a second...) I think I can fit her in a role as a QA..
Boss: (Excited..) Exactly Prakash...This is what I though too...Great minds think alike Sir.
Prakash:(Hesitantly)..Ok..Does she have a visa?
Boss: We can start the process. (Puts phone on speaker)...Meghna, get started with it will you? Will you contact Shanta. She will help you get started… ( I had to run behind my boss for 50 days to get a Invitation letter…HRs always have their way...)
Prakash: She will need to be trained here in offshore for sometime in basic peoplesoft HRMS...You see we have people who are with experience and you know it will be a bit difficult for us to push her to an onsite role bypassing them.You know that right?
Boss: I know that..Anyways its for a QA role.
Thus a HR who used to sign experience letters and give fundas to new joinees on their benefits gets transformed into a Peoplesoft functional expert by just one call.
One Call That’s All…

Story 2

Ramesh and Jyothi are a couple in the same company. They both have US visas but they stay in different cities in the US. It has been that way and they are fed up. They want to stay in the same place together in the US.
Ramesh is a critical resource. The company cannot afford to lose him. He tells his boss of his concern. And says that he will need to look for other opportunities where they pay him more so that his wife can quit her job and join him.
Boss gets concerned...

Boss: Hey Ramesh..dont take any hasty decisions man...we can work it out..
Ramesh: How ?
Boss: Let me see if we can place your wife in this project?
Ramesh: How? She is a mainframe resource and this is all ERP.
Boss: We can make her the QA...(laughs triumphantly having found a solution)
Ramesh: Cool...
Boss: Lets target for the end of this month...

What a quick solution !!!

If a person does not know anything, then in the IT industry he can be a QA. If a person does not know technology or functionality...No problem. Make him the QA.

This is how companies appoint “Quality” people to projects.

2005-10-10T22:04:00.000-05:00

Bragger Vs Bloggers

The blogging community would be shocked by now to see the twist in the IIPM Vs Bloggers war. While I am shocked beyond belief at Gaurav Sabnis's decision, I can't help laugh at the puerile nature of operations by IIPM and its chelas.

I decided to take a look at the profile of India's self declared " economist, management guru, author, social thinker, and a daring entrepreneur all rolled into one enigmatic personality"

He was a Gold Medalist all his life (The fact to be noted is that he was in his baap's college all his life)
If my father had a college, even I would be a Gold medalist.Arre gold kya, I would be a Platinum medalist.

Its like if Rahul Gandhi were to say how much he struggled to get the Amethi Lok Sabha ticket from Congress party :-)

I was surprised by the amount of Brag the website carried. First of all his website has the title "Websiteorg".

Now our brag king was awarded Management Guru award by Om Venkatesa Society chennai which is quite in the league of E&Y,Accenture, Bearing Point, Cambridge, Harvard etc (Pun Intended).
Curiosity got the better of me and I decided to search for Om Venkatesa Society Chennai in Google.
Guess What I found ??

I found many sites which carried this news of our brag guru receiving this prestigious award. Not a single link pointing to the prestigious academy/Org/Institute (whatever)!!! If someone finds the link please let me know !!
Amazing !!!

Someone once said "Empty Vessels Make More Noise" and here's a classic example.

Hail Freedom of Speech !!

2005-10-08T01:03:00.000-05:00

Actually we speak good English, because we were ruled by British, you know..

We Indians are very proud of the fact that we speak English better than people from other nations. True...To a certain extent but since its not our mother tougue we sometimes make hilarious mistakes.
I have listed some of the very funny stuff that I heard...

1) People from every state have their typical accents. My friends from Andhra often confuse the usage of "J" and "Z". For example, if a Telegu guy wanted a person called Jerry to Zero out a certain field in the database by visiting a certain page, this is how he would say
"Zerry, Can you please Jero out the field, by visiting this Paze"

And after that if you would check with him if he did inform Jerry to zero out, he would say "I told the Zerry to Jero out..."

Talking about accents, people from UP and MP tend to add an "e" sound in front of words that start with the S. For example, an UP guy would say
Snow as iSnow
Start as iStart
Stop as iStop
Specifications as iSpecifications
Spa as iSpa

We started calling this UP guy as boolean talker.

Tamil guys, I have noticed say Temporary as Tempravary

Having made fun of people from other states, I should say a few irritating pronunciation mistakes that Mallus make.

Mallus say Man as Maaan, have as Haaave, Van as Vaaan,Office as Oofees etc. For a mallu, a word is not a word unless you give equal importance to each letter in it. For eg, a mallu would say Running as Rrrunningg.

Now some of the amazing goof-ups I noticed or told to me by my friends here...
1)A manager wrote to his boss voicing the concern of his reportees
"Please improve the speed of the connection. Its becoming difficult to maintain the motto of my people"
Hello...You may wanna say "Morale" or "Motivation"...anyways why do you need another motto apart from "Applying Thought"

2) During a meeting, a manager wanted to stop one of his subordinates from speaking. So he said "Sorry, I want to interpret you" and he started speaking..
Boss??? Did u wanna interpret or interrupt me?

3) A manager wanted to tell his reportee to invite all the concerned people to a meeting. This is what he said..."Please dont forget to invite all Shakeholders"
Shakeholders??? What kind of shakes do they hold boss? Milkshakes ??

And finally the clincher..
One guy wanted to tell the Operations folks to execute a series of jobs at certain times. This is what he wrote

Hi,
Please execute the blow jobs regularly without fail
PFPDOXOX Daily
PWPDZ22 Saturday...
........

And finally...
Q: What would you call an amazing Telegu speaking Tennis player ?
A: Andhra Aggasi

2005-10-04T23:00:00.000-05:00

Fall - The Most beautiful Season

Alpine Loop in UTAH on US92. Nature played with paint and brush

A Valley of Aspens in the Alpine loop

A carpet of Red Maple leaves on a beautiful trail

A forest of Aspens. We hit the road at the peak. One week later they would all be gone

Nebo Loop. Another scenic drive in Utah.

Red and Yellow - Nebo loop

Nice picture of the Nebo valley taken by Rahulan

2005-10-03T22:25:00.000-05:00

The IRAN Vote

Every article that I read seems to strongly oppose India's decision to vote against Iran in the IAEA meeting. I was surprised not to see any one person write in support of the brave decision. I think the decision was a landmark policy shift in our international diplomacy. For once I support a decision made by this Congress government.
Let me point out the reasons why this decision by India was a landmark

1) India's traditional Non Aligned status has not worked out very well in the past. It alienated United States and many advanced european nations. India formed an alliance in which it seemed like a leader of developing countries..all african countries etc. What did we get from these nations who are not capable of standing on their own feet? With this vote India has moved on from this image of indecisive week kneed country.

2) India's status as a growing responsible economy needs to be augmented with such careful decisions which do not cause too much harm in terms of relationship but at the same time gives confidence to US that India is a partner that can be trusted.

3) Iran is still ruled by fundamentalist Islamists. Nuclear power in such hands can be very very dangerous

4) Talking about the gas deal, it will go on as the amount involved in that is billions. Which government would want to kill such a deal for a fricking vote? Its business at the end of the day and Iran would not be foolhardy to kill such a deal

5) First time, a Congress govt has not done something to appease the minority and the Islamic world

I read an article in rediff about how Iran saved India from a motion raised by Pakistan against human right violation in Kashmir. India in 1994 was a nation that was struggling to come out of the socialistic policies. There were not many multinationals here. The forex reserves would have been in single digits. India was an unimportant country then. But today as we slowly move towards market economy, our power is being recognized by US and european nations. Today none of them would support Pakistan or any Arab nation to raise such a motion.

In politics and diplomacy there is no such thing as long term relationship. India by voting against Iran has moved from its usual indecisive stance and moved into a new position of an opinionated developing nation.